Afterlife
by karma-chan
Summary: spoilers for the entire series. reinhard and siegfried. yaoi or nonyaoi, depending on how you read it. postseries.


Afterlife by Karma

Warnings: Spoilers to the very end of the tv series!

He wakes up with the sun on his face, bright, almost blinding in its intensity. Luckily, the tree that he is under provides some shelter from the light, and he scoots instinctively under its protective branches. The ground is soft under his movement; perhaps because of the thousands of cherry blossom petals that he is laying on top of, pink petals that smell pleasant and crush beneath him.

"You're awake."

It is a familiar voice. Reinhard stiffens and turns to see Kircheis sitting besides him, hand playing absentmindedly with some of the delicate petals on the ground. He stares at his friend and then he sits up quickly and throws his arms around him.

"Kircheis," he says, and the sudden rush of emotions that he feels tightens his throat and makes his voice sound strange. He hugs his friend tighter. "Kircheis!"

"Lord Reinhard," said Kircheis, smiling awkwardly. He pats his friend on the shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I had, I had the most awful dream!" He feels like he's sixteen again, when it was just him and his friend against the cold reaches of the empire, and they were free to talk about anything without any fear of the consequences.

The dream hurts him when he thinks about it, so he doesn't, he pushes it back to the corner of his mind, like a dungeon keeper locking away a prisoner to waste. Kircheis is solid and real, and the surge of happiness he feels is so powerful that he's almost crying.

Kircheis, like he always did before, listens. He says nothing, simply accepts the embrace without doing anything that would embarrass the both of them by its intensity.

Reinhard holds him for a few more seconds to make sure that he's actually there, that this wasn't an illusion, and then he lets go and tries to compose himself. "I'm sorry," he says, feeling ashamed for his sudden outburst of emotion, but Kircheis simply smiles in understanding and says, "It's all right."

"Kircheis..." And suddenly there's so much that Reinhard wants to say, and the dream comes rushing back to him, like a monster rising from the deep, even as he's trying to ignore it. "I-- I--," his voice falters. He -- what? Missed him, even though he was right next to him the whole time? Feels so happy to see him, even though there's really no reason why, is there?

"I've been waiting for you to wake up," says Kircheis, filling the silence. "Shall we go?"

Reinhard shakes his head. Suddenly he wants nothing more than to spend time with his friend. He didn't care about anything else. "I want to stay here for a little bit longer, Kircheis. Can we?"

Kircheis smiles that smile of his again, the one that spoke of amused tolerance and agreement. "Of course."

There's a petal blossom stuck in Kircheis's hair, pink tangled in a sea of red. Reinhard pulls it out and fluffs his friend's hair, like he had always done in the past. "Kircheis..." He takes his friend's hand into his own. "You're my best friend. No, you're more than that. You're like a part of myself. I really, really missed you."

And he holds his hand tightly because the dream is nagging at him again, like a sore spot, and he knows that there's no reason why he should miss Kircheis so much unless the dream was real, which he refuses to accept.

Kircheis smiles, though this time the smile is different. It's sadder, almost regretful. "I wanted to be by your side, but I couldn't. I'm sorry."

And then, just like that, reality shatters.

Reinhard freezes. Different bubbles of emotions now burst within him-- sadness, fear, disappointment, anger, relief, all at the same time, and he is overwhelmed by them all. He holds onto the only hand that he could hold onto for so many years as he tries not to understand, but does.

"So the dream..."

Kircheis looks sad.

"...Was real." Reinhard lets go of his hand, and looks around. They are in an empty cherry orchard, and all of the tree branches are blossomed and pink. He inhales deeply, feels suddenly the extra length of hair that reaches past his shoulders, and knows that he must look much older than the one sitting next to him, even though they had been born in the same year.

"You..." And it hurts to say it, because he had been denying it for as long as he could. His mouth dries up, and the word comes out a whisper. "Died."

Kircheis nods slowly. "I'm sorry I left you."

"No, don't apologize. It was my fault. Not a day passed since then when I didn't regret taking Oberstein's advice. I cried inside everyday, and thought of you constantly." He looks down, the old guilt still aching. "I shouldn't have listened to him."

"It was the right thing to do," Kircheis says. "And that's all there is to it."

"And I didn't realize," he says slowly, confessing the worse crime of all, "How you and my sister felt about each other. And I was always taking your time away from her." He finally has the courage to look into those blue eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Lord Reinhard," his friend replies, "Following you was my tiny dream. To always be there for you. It was my promise to your sister, my promise to you, and my promise to myself. Lady Annerose understood this as well as I. I have no regrets."

Forgiveness. It sweeps through him like a warm breeze, and he suddenly feels relaxed and free. "I became Emperor, you know," Reinhard says conversationally to his friend.

Kircheis smiles. "I know. I watched."

"But when I first sat on the throne, I realized how meaningless it all was. My sister left. But even worse yet, you were gone. My support for so many years, the one who always watched my back, the one who almost saved me from getting into deeper trouble. The throne didn't mean anything without you." He closes his eyes, the pain and loneliness and sadness, all coming back. "I tried to carry on after you were gone. I got married and had a son. But everyday, it still hurt."

"Lord Reinhard..."

He embraces him again. "I told my sister, when I was dying, that she could have you back. But I'm really glad to see you right now. I missed you. I loved you so much."

Kircheis pats him on the shoulder gently. "I know."

"You always knew me best." Reinhard's hug tightens, and then slowly, he pulls apart and studies the face that he could only see etched in his memory. Sigfried Kircheis, still looking as young and as refreshed as ever, the same warm blue eyes, the same red hair. Kircheis, his best friend who had died protecting him.

"I forgive you for breaking your promise and dying before me," says Reinhard. He smiles. "Since I am seeing you now." He glances around. "So now what happens?"

Kircheis stands up and offers him an outstretched hand. "Now we go." And he helps him to his feet.

Reinhard has only one question. "Together?" It would hurt so much to separate again that he doesn't want to think about it.

Kircheis, like always, knows how to respond. "Together."

---

A/N: the image of cherry blossoms in the after life is from Yami no Matsuei's version of Meifu, where everyday the blossoms are in bloom. 


End file.
